Behind Closed Doors

smile!

2009-04-06T05:40:00.000-07:00

ive only met you a couple of times but you make me smile..
i dont know how or why..
you just do..
you make me look forward to another morning..
hearing the message alert tone of my cellphone makes me happy cause i know its you..
im all giddy..
im bubbly these past few months..
you make me smile..
i feel like a young girl with a crush..
thank you..

Down Hill..

2009-03-24T04:54:00.000-07:00

Since my last post, my life has been down hill. I finally had the guts to leave Tim last May 2008. I wasn't happy about what I did but I knew it was going to be for the better. My dreams of a perfect ending and a happy family were shattered. I thought that things would change. I thought that with the birth of our daughter he'd be mature and make things right for her sake. But we both had different ways of showing our maturity and how to deal with our situation.

Come to think of it I became selfish. I only thought about myself too. But then I couldn't be in a "relationship" that had no serious commitment. I couldn't wait for him to grow up and own up to his responsibilities to me and our child. It was sad but that was the reality I had to face.

Actually we were supposed to get married June 2008 but I backed out. I felt like I was the only one who wanted to get married and he was just agreeing and going through the motions just to get it over and done with. He wasn't doing it because he loved me. I felt that that was more important than getting married. To me it was like a slap in the face. I loved him very much and I was willing to do everything but he didn't feel the same way.

Just another rainy day...

2007-07-09T21:23:00.000-07:00

so.. i havent written anything in a long time.. its raining and again its putting me in the mood to write.

things in my life are pretty much ok.. meaning..not bad and not good either. Im happy because im back at work. its a bit stressful but still manageable. I get to still spend enough time with my daughter Raphaela.

Haay... time does fly. Cant believe shes already 5 months. Shes starting to crawl and is very talkative.. blahh..blahh..blahh..

Whenever i come home just seeing her takes away all the stress.

Seeing her smile..haayy..priceless!

My Pride and Joy

2007-04-23T00:17:00.000-07:00

My little bundle of joy was born on January 30, 2007. Tim and I named her Raphaela Guillana. She was 7.14 pounds, normal delivery. Big baby! Until now I still cant believe she fit inside my tummy. I gave birth to her at Capitol Medical Center in Quezon City.

Her first month was the hardest. I had to adjust to a lot of things. For such a small person she practically took over my whole pad. All my stuff were replaced with her stuff. My place had to baby proof. Since I was breast feeding her I would wake up every two hours which was very tough. Even if I was too tired to feed her I would still have to wake up cause my breasts were like open faucets. I'd lactate everytime she was hungry. Bummer! I felt like my breasts for her were like refillable ice tea! And the feeling everytime she sucks... ouchy! It hurts!

By the second month, things became smoother. I finally got a system. I knew when she'd wake up and feel hungry. I could understand if she was hungry, sleepy or uncomfortable.

My only wish now is that things fall into place. That I will be able to provide her with everything that she needs. I know I still have a lot to deal with.

Spur of the Moment Trip

2006-03-13T02:09:00.000-08:00

Valentines Day... my close friends in school (Jam, Bianca, Chan and I) decide to hit the road going to Tagaytay since all of us were single and had no dates that night. Talk about spur of the moment! So we get into my favorite Chevy and drive to Tagaytay for a late dinner. We end up eating at the old Gerry's grill. There we drank a few beers and shared stories. I guess we had a great time. Evil (Bianca) and the Minions (Jam, Chan and Me). Its the first time in many years that ive gone on an out of town trip with classmates and its the first time that I actually opened up to them. I really had fun that night. I guess i could say it was a memorable night.

ITS NOT MY FAULT!!!

2006-03-13T01:24:00.000-08:00

I just recently learned how to drive a car and since then ive been an addict. I kept borrowing Tim's Chevy Optra so I could apply what ive learned from my friends who taught me how to drive namely Bianca, Mark and Yero. Unfortunately, it got hit in the back while it was parked in Kapitolyo. It was a hit and run case. I concluded that the car that was parked parallel to mine backed up and hit it. The car left a dent and paint. The back light was scraped too. Grrr.. I was so upset! I kept cursing that night! But most of all I was afraid of Tim's reaction when I tell him what had happened to his car. Grrr... it was going to be the end of me! When I was a few stop lights away from his office i texted him to go down to the parking lot because I had to show him what had happened to his car he went balistic! He went down as soon as he could and was furious with what he saw. I was in tears and kept shouting that it wasnt my fault. Well, yes it was my fault since I didnt take care of it. It was my responsibility and I failed. Hmph... after shouting at me for almost 30 minutes about how irresponsible I was he eventually forgave me and just gave me a hug. I guess despite his anger he was just glad that I wasnt in the car when it had happened and that I was safe. Well, since the accident i havent been driving. Ok.. hush..hush.. but ive been driving without a license so thats really bad. So far im lucky since i havent been caught. I dont plan on driving until ive got one. And thats what ive been working on.

test

2006-02-16T07:40:00.000-08:00

mic test hello?anybody home???